It’s four o’clock! Go back to sleep you fool...It didn’t work. Stealthily he d****d a lamp in a t shirt and switched it on. Nell didn’t stir as the light fell across her. He climbed onto the bed and looked closely into her face. Nose to nose, close enough to see which of her freckles were in front of the others, he inhaled her sleeping breath and waited for her to wake. Her eyes stayed motionless behind those fragile lids and her breath sighed in and out of her, deep and regular. She was asleep alright.Lightly kissing her mouth, Sean crawled down over her until he could look between her legs. The c***dish freedom that was between them in bed always thrilled him. He could do anything with her, to her... she was his willing playmate in all matters. He didn’t have to consider for a moment, for example, whether or not this scrutiny, while she was so oblivious, might upset her. That was not how she worked. She was like a little moral holiday... do anything... let’s try everything... I. " I...I..." The words that I sought out didn't come to me. The truth was, I was ashamed about my body. Damn it, I was - well, I had been a man at one time. Now when I looked at myself in the mirror the reflection made me feel uncomfortable, even a little frightened. Where was Tom McClain, the man I had once been and even loved? This woman, who I was also slowly starting to love, had replaced him. I was afraid, DAMN IT! What if I did fully embrace her, the new me? Would I lose who I had once been for good? I didn't want to let go of me - Tom McClain."It's okay," Connie whispered softly as she gently unsnapped my bra. It started to fall off and Terry held up the towel to cover my breasts. "Just relax and let us take care of you. You're feeling scared and weak -we want to help." I'm not scared - and I don't feel weak!" I tried replying back in a stern voice. It didn't come close to convincing anyone, including myself. "I've been this way...this way...for...over a year. I...I...I can...I.
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